Why do we find the people we find attractive, attractive?
I mean what makes one person make us go weak at the knees and another, leaving us
stone cold?
Why do we tend to find ourselves finding the same kind of guys attractive?
We always say that we like a 'certain type' or that a certain type of guy does it for us and we very often only find ourselves going out with or thinking we are only attracted to this type.
I know there are definite types that always do it for me.
And yet, have you found that you go through phases of this?
Do your tastes grow and change? Do you find yourself being attracted to different types as time goes on?
I know I do. My tastes have evolved, broadened, grown as I've gone on. And I love it!
It means the choice of guys out there grows exponentially as another type comes into my 'attraction zone'.
I mean I don't really 'lose' the attraction to previous types, I just add to it.
Let me explain.
I've always kind of found the younger, boy next door, blond-haired, blue-eyed type really attractive.
When I was at school, it would always be the guys a year or so below me, who were really good looking and cute, that I found myself being attracted to.
I was never really attracted to older guys or men. It's always been kind of younger or same age but younger looking, that have always turned me on. And yet I've recently started to develop a major attraction for older or more mature guys and bigger more muscled guys my age now.
Before that, it was many other different types of guys.
I couldn't figure out why this was to be honest, but I've been thinking about this a lot recently and I think I've realised why this was the case.
I reckon that it was down to a couple of reasons.
Firstly, I reckon that when I was younger, I was attracted to guys that I wanted to be like.
I actually think that that's how my first stirrings of being gay started.
I used to look at kids and think I like the way he looks, that's what I'd like to be like, why can't I be like him, they've got a good personality, he looks really good looking, I like the way he dresses, his clothes jut suit him perfectly, why can't I look like that etc etc
And I think it developed into looking at them more and more and then thinking that they looked really good looking, then feeling that I was attracted to them and so it grew.
As I looked at them more, I found myself noticing other guys who looked similar and having really weird feelings about them I started looking out for that type of guy and really started to find them attractive in a sexual way.
And it kind of developed from there I suddenly realised that it was boys I was finding attractive and certain types were always the ones I found myself staring at.
Secondly, as I began to realise that I might be gay and that I found other guys sexually attractive, I was also scared of what this meant.
I had this yearning to go and find out more but was way too scared to go and look for it and always felt petrified about 'meeting' someone who'd take advantage of you. Was just too scared to put myself in a situation where someone else, bigger than me, was in control and therefore I never developed the 'attraction to older guys' because, in my naivety and inexperience, I was always too scared I was going to be beaten up, killed or whatever else I'd heard/read about happening.
It's just that I must've blocked any attraction to older guys because I didn't necessarily want to look like them AND was scared of putting myself in danger, so the desire never grew.
I've talked to other guys who were the opposite, they were attracted to older or bigger guys because they wanted to be controlled' or 'looked after' or they were looking for a father figure and it kind of progressed into the sexual zone.
For me though, that never happened and I continued developing my desire for a certain type, because that's what I wanted to be like and that's what I therefore found attractive in all sorts of ways.
This kind of carried on when I moved to London because, although I was going out more, I still had this intrepidation of being attacked, or beaten up by someone bigger than me. Even more so in a big City like London.
And even though, there were more of a different type of guy that I was beginning to be attracted to, I had still been 'programmed' with the desires I'd developed when I was younger and had not even had chance to 'try' yet.
Now though, after meeting, experiencing, dating many different guys, I find my sexual tastes have broadened massively and older, bigger guys have not been a threat to me for so long now that I realised how attractive they can be and I found myself developing a real thing for them?
While at the same time still being attracted to the guys who always used to do it for me.
I also found that having met or dated certain guys who I normally wouldn't have gone for, I found myself developing a bit of a thing for that type.
Indian guys for example. I met this really cute Indian guy once, about a couple of years younger than me and we had this thing going for a few months.
I realised he was just soo HOT (and the sex was fantastic too!) that after, I found myself being massively attracted to other Indian guys like that and met a few more and liked them too so much that whenever I see a cute Indian guy now, I almost always fancy him and want to meet him.
Same with Mediterranean guys considering that before I always went for the cute, English, blond haired look, I find that any dark-skinned, Latin, dark haired, good looking guys just make me go weak now and I'm not really sure where that came from other than just a dawning realisation that they're all really horny.
I guess what I'm saying is that I reckon you're tastes in the people you find attractive evolve as you evolve and the more people you meet, the more your tastes are likely to be effected by that and the more excitement you build into your sex life because seeing guys as you're going through a big attraction thing, always keeps the 'edge'.
After all, just going for one type all the time is a bit like just eating the same thing every day It'd get boring.
And I'm all for variety.
It truly is the spice of life!
